Do you know that you can be happy just like that, without having any reason? Without even possessing all the things you consider necessary to feel happiness.
This is a special article, from which you will learn how to appreciate even the smallest things in your life. You will realize that your feeling of happiness depends on you and, most of all, that you can be happy without any reason! :)
You see, people lay down so many conditions for being happy. I must have a car, I must have a house with a pool; only then will I be happy. I have to earn 10 thousand a month and have a great family, only then will I be able to feel good. This might never stop. Some people impose on themselves very demanding requirements for being happy. So demanding that it would take them three lives, not one, to feel a little bit of happiness. And what are your criteria for being happy?
Try to think about whether these criteria are truly yours. You will be surprised to realize that most of them do not come from your heart. Your mind absorbs ready-made patterns from the world like a sponge. A loving wife, two kids, a nice house, a fast car, a great job - this is the given recipe for being happy. Such a vision is certainly pleasant and definitely worth pursuing. However, I absolutely do not consider fitting in the above frame essential to feel happy. In fact, if in any way you lay down conditions on your happiness ...
…you are to find yourself in one big trap. And it's hard to get out of it, because as soon as you meet certain criteria, new ones take their place. And the road to happiness will never end. You will meet some conditions, new ones will appear on the horizon. Now, write down what you need to feel happy. And then ask yourself whether you are 100% sure that when you gain all these things, happiness will truly knock on your door?
Just like that, for no reason
What if you can be happy just like that, for no reason at all? Who said you need a car and a house with a pool? Look at the small baby who cannot even speak or walk yet, but is crawling and playing with every toy that falls into its hands. Does it make up provisions in its head that it can be happy only when it achieves something? A baby acts unconditionally. It does not need any motivation, it just is. It enjoys the very being and does not need any reason to feel joy.
Start with something easier. This is something I learned from my other half. It turned out that for half an hour I can feel happy just because it’s a nice weather outside. Fantastic. And indeed, I could really enjoy it. I was happy. Without thinking about what I want to accomplish, what I have to gain in my life. Why waste such a special moment on thoughts that go through my mind most of the day anyway? Instead of that, I would sometimes rather lay back… and find comfort in the smallest things.
The ability to enjoy them is the ability to be happy. It is not unconditional happiness yet, but it is a big step in the right direction. Here you still tend to need the reasons, but these are small things. By “small” I do not mean "minor". On the contrary, I am convinced that these seemingly negligible reasons are much more true and important than all the others.
The sun that is shining and the fresh air that I breathe in are much more real reasons for me to feel happy than having a fast car. The fact that I can talk to another person can fill me with greater joy than the perspective for buying a summer house by the sea one day. Of course I’m not saying I don’t want it, because I still do. Probably someday this will also bring me plenty of joy and fulfillment but now is now. And why should I put off my happiness for later?
Happiness comes first
Some people are afraid that if they feel happy now, it means they will never achieve anything more in life. According to such line of thought, if they are too happy about the current state of affairs, they will see no point in continuing to grow and be active. If they say "I feel great", then they will also say "if I feel great, then I don’t have to do anything". They couldn’t be more wrong! From my own experience, I know that something totally opposite happens. If happiness and the acceptance of what you have now comes first, the action that comes next will be ten times more valuable, pleasant and effective.
What is more, a new powerful inner motivation will come forth. Try it out yourself. You can always give up this happiness if you do not find it suitable :) Do not do things to be happy. Be happy to do things. That is a huge difference.
Believe it or not, the skill of happiness can be learned. You can train it. It may sound weird, but that’s how it works. You can learn to enjoy in small things. You will see for yourself. At the beginning, you may find it difficult. But as soon as you learn it, you will be able to get joy and pleasure out of every little thing. And the more such moments in your life, the happier you will be. Much happier than people who live in great palaces, have great fortunes or achieve great successes. You do not need all that in order to get what most people really strive for in life, which is happiness. They just all choose the most diverse paths to find it.
As a matter of fact, every path, socially recognized as effective to achieve happiness, can lead to somewhere else. Think whether what you are pursuing right now is really going to make you happy. Put aside for a moment what television, parents and society tell you. Give yourself the opportunity to reflect on what this feeling might truly give you. Find your own way to happiness. Perhaps, there is nothing like such way at all and maybe you can just learn to be happy here and now.
Appreciate the little things
Can anything give you happiness at all? This concept as a whole seems to be absurd... After all, nothing can give you happiness. You already have it. You just have to find it in yourself. You must have found it in there many times, even for a short time. Did you have moments in your life when you felt truly happy?
Would you like to learn how to be happy more and more often? My advice is first learn to enjoy the little things. Enjoy when you have the opportunity to talk to someone you like very much. Enjoy when you catch the bus at the last minute. Enjoy having a good meal. Enjoy when the sun is shining and a pleasant wind is blowing. Enjoy when someone tells you something nice. Enjoy when you make a mistake from which you can draw conclusions. Enjoy when an old friend gives you a ring. In such moments stop for a second to appreciate where you are and what you are doing right now. Feel the joy of gratitude for such a simple and yet so wonderful thing. Do it every day and you will see that it will become easier and more enjoyable for you.
Enjoy these things deeply, sincerely and truly - feel the joy and gratitude when you are experiencing them. A sincere sense of gratitude, like an elevator, will take you to the level of happiness faster than anything else. This is a skill you can learn.
Then you will understand something very important: whether you will be happy or not, depends on you. You will realize that you decide what criteria must be met to give you this feeling. You might see that no such criterion exists for you any more. Because you can be happy just like that. Because you have every right to do so. Because this is what you were created for. You can smile now because you are free from any conditions on your happiness. You’ve become unconditionally happy :)