February 27, 2015

Discover your top life values

Do you know what is really important for you in your life? Are you aware of your values’ hierarchy? Before you start climbing the ladder of your success efficiently and effectively, check if the ladder is propped against the right building.

Knowing about yours top values  gives you a potential to do things in your life that support your authentic happiness and make you deeply satisfied. Your goals will always be coming from the bottom of your heart and you will be able to assign the right direction, which from now on, you will follow.

Not this ladder

While creating a life full of happiness and satisfaction you can’t forget about specifying a hierarchy of your life values.  People often tend to follow one direction just to discover that they don’t want to be in the place they’ve just reached.  Take care of yourself and find out what is really important in your life.

Lately I have noticed a kind of repeating scheme in many movies. There is a guy, he has a beautiful wife, two children and good job. He spends long hours in his office and wants to earn more and more money. He works overtime with hope for promotion. When he comes home he is too tired to spend time with his family. He works, works, works… After few years he notices that he has slept away a great part of his life. He looks around and sees that his children have moved out and they don’t want to stay in touch with him. His wife doesn’t want to sleep with him or even talk to him.  He gets hit by this thought, that this is not the life he has always wanted to have.  He lost everything that was important to him due to work which doesn’t  satisfy him anymore.

People tend to follow things that aren’t the most important in their lives. Some of them chase values  which were chosen by their friends, family, society  or trends. Why? Because of laziness  - when somebody tells you that something should be done, it’s easier to do this. On the other hand you need courage to discover your real life values and meet the need. You can’t be afraid of taking decisions or resigning from something. If that guy from my story would have  decided what is the most important for him in appropriate time he would probably spent more time with his family. Perhaps his life might have been different.

Your own direction

You should know that every decision you make is determined by hierarchy of values. Decision making is much easier when you know your values. Knowing the fact  that family is one of your major values  you can easily handle refusing your boss when he asks you to stay longer at work instead of going to the cinema with your children.

Each goal you decide to achieve, will be your real goal and will generate motivation, providing that it is coherent with your values.  People often follow goals that are not their own, they work for  others success and happiness. Having knowledge about your values causes choosing  what is important for you, not only for the others. This knowledge allows you to move in the right direction.

When your decisions and actions are coherent with your top life values you feel happy. Lack of happiness is determined by unfulfilled needs in your top life values domain. Let’s make an assumption. There is a man whose top life value is success.  He is successful but he doesn’t feel fulfilled. Why? Because he doesn’t know that he neglects another important value: fun.  Consciousness of your values allows you to identify a cause when you don’t feel happy enough in your life.

The values of the resources  and the results

There are two types of values. The values of resources are resources and due to them we can reach the values of the results. Those latter are usually emotional states like safety, peace, happiness. The resources which allow to reach these results are money, good job, family etc. In this article we engage in the values of results because they are the deepest kept values. They have a large impact on our lives and decisions we make.

The values of the resources -> The values of the results

Money  -> luxury ,safety

Family -> love, intimacy

Friends -> fun,  joy

Discovering your values

Below, there is a list of some values . I’d like you to choose from 10 to 12 values which are the most important for you. You can spend any time you need for this. Don’t rush, think about it and make a choice in peace. It would have a great meaning for you in the future, so do it slowly.  Write down values you choose.

Now, when you have list of your values , please rate each value from 1 to 10. Number 1 is the most important thing in your life,  2 is also very important, etc. Set the hierarchy of your values. Do it slowly and carefully.

When you’re not sure which one you should  choose try this way. While comparing  two values imagine two situations which represents  them, and then choose  the situation. I’ll give you an example.  If I had to choose between adventure and development values I would imagine two situations. A one week trip to Madagascar is an adventure and one week long management training in London is development. The situation you would mostly like to be in, represents the more important value.

After grading all of your values, please write them down in the correct order on a new sheet of paper. Keep this sheet and put it somewhere, where you can easily find it.

Your valuable life

The list of your values will support you in taking decisions. If you have to make an important decision and you’re not sure what to do, you should check which  value is closer to the top of your list. If you can get better paid but more time consuming job , what decision would you make if success and relaxation were one of the most important values to you. If  success was higher at your list  you would probably get this job, on the other hand if a relaxation was higher you would surely reject this proposition.  Keeping in mind your values during decision making process gives you a certainty that decision once made is a good decision.

It’s possible that your values can change their position on your list. Due to different experiences in your life, your opinions and views may change and your list shall not be the same in two years time. Because it is essential to  repeat this exercise from time to time and have a second to think what is important at the moment. You can go back to the list and ask yourself  “Are these values still important to me?”. Maybe you will put another value on the top of your list then. It’s natural that important things change over time so it’s significant to make changes on your list when you need it. Do this exercise for example twice a year and you would always know what is important to you in your life.

So do it for yourself and dedicate an hour of your time to determine your values. I bet you wouldn't like to wake up in 5 years and realize you moved in the wrong direction, would you?