Modeling is one of the most important tools of NLP. It is assumed that if someone has been successful in some field, every other person can learn how to do the same. All one needs to do is single out the steps of the way of that person’s success and then follow these steps.
That's how neurolinguistic programming came into existence. In the 70’, John Grinder and Richard Bandler studied the methods of the three most effective psychotherapists of that time. Their results were impressive, so Grinder and Bandler decided to find out what determined their effectiveness. From the information gathered, the two created a model that in an easy and accessible way that allows to help people, at the same time maintaining excellent effectiveness.
Likewise, we can act in any other case. If you want to succeed in any field, find the most effective person in this field, and learn how they made it. What exactly did they do to achieve it all? If you take the exact same steps and follow the same convictions, you have great chances of being successful. That’s why we should learn from the best.
This is the modeling at the conscious level and it involves finding the best strategies and adopting the same convictions as the person who has the skills desired by us.
In such a way we can model ourselves. Reading books written by successful people, some interviews with them or their own autobiographies are an essential part of it. Make sure these are people who have really made it to the top, not only those ones who say they know how to do it. The first and most important thing you need to do here is accept all the convictions of that person. Here you can find out more about convictions.
If, for example, Robert Kiyosaki in one of his books about money, says that according to him, anyone can be rich, then you should accept this conviction as being unconditionally true. The really successful people have achieved so much thanks to their unique convictions so it’s crucial to understand these convictions and think in the same way as they do.
In addition to modeling the convictions of successful people, you can learn from their books various strategies for being better in a given field and then use these strategies for yourself. If you follow their steps, you will achieve the same results.
What are other ways of modeling? By watching movies! This is a very good way for modeling great behaviors. Movies with interesting characters, training courses as well as TV programs are a great material here. For example, if you watch a movie with a charismatic hero as a main character and you would like to be like that hero, break his behavior into parts, his gestures, dialogues, body language and the choice of words. Save it or remember it. It is also important to watch a fragment where the hero clearly presents the behavior repeatedly.
Now, a little about subconscious modeling. Here you will model using NLP techniques. It allows us to adopt some resources at a subconscious level (behaviors and emotions) without their conscious analysis. We will need it if we want to be more confident, open to people, assertive, happy, etc. Such resources can be taken, for example, from your friends who have certain characteristics that you would like to possess. You can also model some charismatic leaders or movie heroes, etc.
Let’s assume that you want to be more confident. You’ve found the model and this is, for example, a friend from work / school who is extremely confident.
1. Start with entering into a state of relaxation, and preferably into a state of deep relaxation (here you will learn how to do this).
2. Now start visualizing that person. Visualize that person at the moment when they behave very confident. Pay attention to everything they do. How do you know the person is self-confident? By their gestures, the way they speak or maybe their posture?
3. Imagine that you’re becoming that person and you’re taking a step forward. You’re penetrating into this person, you can feel everything they feel and behave exactly in the same way. Be that person for a while and feel very confident. Be associated (you can see everything from the perspective of that person's eyes).
4. Tell yourself, "I’m taking from this person only those resources that I want, nothing else". It happened that some people unconsciously would take unwanted things, such as nervous twitches. The suggestion above eliminates in 100% any possibility of taking anything other than self-confidence.
5. Take a step back, get out of the body of the person at the same time maintaining the desired resource. Now imagine yourself in several different situations. Let those be some situations from the future that are still to come. Visualize how much confident you are. Feel this feeling, act this way. Behave as if it was your normal trait.
Follow the same instructions when it comes to other emotions and behaviors. If you want an emotion or behavior become a permanent part of you, repeat this exercise from time to time modeling different people.
Modeling is a lifestyle. Constantly look for useful resources around you. You can learn from the vast number of people, not only from the highest authorities. Try to look for them among your friends-who of them possesses features that you also would like to have? Every time you see some interesting character on television, you can model something from the person. Modeling is a lifestyle that is about learning and constantly becoming someone better. And that's the beauty of personal development :)